In this past month I have had to ask people for stuff. This is not my normal “way of being”.
There is nothing wrong with asking but that doesn’t mean I like to do it. Although this might sound strange to some, if I ask for something which I need or haven’t done i feel like I have either let people down or I am incapable as I should be able to handle everything on my own. (Kinda sounds arrogant, maybe its a control thing, maybe its a trust issue as i have been let down in the past and figure I can only rely on myself) its a whole myraid of “stuff” I am carring around which I am practicing letting go of. I have practising for a while now, its taking some time and its not a good thing to hold onto.
When I reflect the past couple of weeks, I have had to ask for stuff like:
- help with folding the laundry, as I have been really sick and it just got onto of me (i asked my mum – thanks mum!),
- asked that your kids don’t come to art class today because I am sick and i have no voice (can’t tell you how much i agonised over this phone call)
- Can you donate money to the Pozible campaign?
- Help! because I was having some family issues with the kids I don’t know what to do!
- to be excused because i didn’t met a deadline
- help to be taken to the train to get to the airport
- ask for money for work that i have completed (which was just overlooked i knew but i don’t like asking)
- For a consideration because I haven’t paid MY bill on time
- Ask for people to want to come to my workshops
- Change of appointment times
- asked for MORE money for a value service I am providing
Some of it is BIG stuff, others are little stuff, the point is doesn’t really matter what it is, its just hard for me to ask. For others they will look at me like i MAD. I am envious of those people who can just ask flat out, straight to my face for things – How can you do that? I mean just ask flat out? – I have come to some consideration that I often to mull over things before I ask – thats kinda the way it is.
It is through this realisation of all this that i have come to some peace and its through the act of others I have had such gratitude this week for all that just is!
Through my process of asking, people have responded and you know, given me stuff! I have had loved ones, look after me very well! OMG imagine that!
This week, Leesa, I needed that cuppa thankyou! That was great, and technically you asked me but I know, that you know I needed one! I have had friends pledge money to my Pozible campaign! OMG really? AND I have had people I don’t even know also offer their support! – Supporters – I can’t tell you how much that means to me! You are awesome!
I also had things out of the blue,
I have had people tell me how much they get out of the ACPN, and how the website has helped them with depression and brought some peace to their lives – AMAZING!
I also had 2 work related friends / clients ring me out of the blue to offer me help with my business! MOST importantly they listened, they know me unlike many other do! They gave me their honest, valued, important input and friendship.
I didn’t ask for them that, they just did it and it has been absolutely the most amazing thing ever.
Now, I am taking action, I have clarity and I am able to make some decisions based on those phone calls!!!
In art class this week…
It reminds me of a discussion in adult art class this week when we discussed the fact that sometimes we are worried about putting ourselves out there when creating art. We are worried about the outcome, worried if our work will be good enough, I as the tutor talked about putting yourself out there, because you have to!
You are safe if you stay where your are, but you are not growing. You can draw the thing you “know” over and over and over again ( i see it all the time in my kids classes they just want to draw the same cartoon because thats what they know how to draw) but how will you ever “know” other things if you don’t get a bit uncomfortable and step out of the safe zone into the unknown? Once you do that NEW opportunities, new possibilities and new drawings will come to you. But they won’t come if you stay drawing the same thing over and over and over again. You have to be uncomfortable to grow.
So… with that thought in mind I realise, I have practised and played out my own advice this week.
I have asked for a variety of things and I have received in abundance!
As for asking in general, I don’t quite know where it will take me, nor to be truthful do I feel that much better about asking for stuff, but I am willing to do it regardless. Sometimes I don’t really know what to ask for, but I have to ask for something if not for a better reason than know that it will lead me to something else.
If you don’t ask and put yourself out there, you will never grow and never know where it might take me/you! So ask, do, get out there!
Thankyou to everyone for the past few weeks! You know who you are!