I debated on whether I wanted to publicise this artwork and its story. Obviously as you are seeing it you will know what my decision is.
There is something about putting part of yourself out there as an artist you try to become comfortable with. It doesn’t make it easy, but when others come to you telling you about how something you have created, said or done has inspired them you know this is why you put yourself through the discomfort of putting yourself out there. I have had various inspirational messages from others people over the years as a result of my posting to my blog, it has somehow touched or helped them and I remind myself that this is why I share.
I see many things in this painting now it finished and there were many things I considered during its creation. The artwork has arisen from emotions, feelings and thoughts in dealing with my life journey and being affected by depression. Yep it does all that to me personally, but it also encompasses many other things outside myself such as how we live in today’s society and our perception of women physically and mentally and our own inner well being.
Whilst I can list all that it means to me here I don’t want to entirely influence you on what YOU think this painting is about or YOUR experience of it.
So before you read on, please just take a moment to look again and think about what it says to you.
After you have taken a moment, here is my artist statement.
Having experienced depression during various times in my life, this artwork expresses my feelings of internal struggle that feel forever present during suffering times. The constant battle of what feels like two minds weighing heavy as one walks around with no escape is what inspired this artwork.
One side represents an outward perception and presence that feels like one must uphold to continue on with everyday life despite the turmoil. This outward presence is visible as you walk down the street, in your relationships and on social media where the perception is that everything is ok. It’s not to be “fake” but is a coping mechanism that is on the surface so that you can continue with your everyday life because it feels like if you let the inner feelings show you can be totally overwhelmed and fall apart and on an average day you have things to do. The other side represents a deeper, sometimes darker level. This side isn’t always visible sometimes it feels like it is sleeping but if you find the time to explore it, it is always present never going away. This side is the also where we strive for our authentic self, the place for inner peace, a place of acceptance that its all ok, but cannot always achieve.
This artwork is hoping to show to families and friends as a sufferer of depression how difficult it maybe to show our vulnerable side. It is to let those close try to understand about the constant battle that is felt to be going on in our heads that never leaves us during difficult times. Through acceptance of one’s inner turmoil we can hope to find in happier times the harmony where our we can feel to be our in “normal authentic self” and not split between the two.
I would love to hear your thoughts please leave a comment below,